sobering, challenging, and encouraging

Jay came on a joint short-term team with Christ Central Southern CA and Christ Central SF.

Hello, my name is Jay Go, and I was one of the members of Christ Central of Southern California (CCSC) that was able to go to Cambodia this summer to support some of the long-term missionaries there. I was also one of the beneficiaries of Pastor Luke and Sokha’s hospitality, as I stayed with them in their home along with 7 other teammates from our church and Christ Central San Francisco.

I am certain the Lord’s pursuit of me started years before I recognized it, but I was able to see a glimpse of the great grace of Jesus Christ 7 years ago when I entered the workforce. The Lord graciously crushed me, and began the work of making me question the vanity of life and the reality of Christ. Since then, I have been a part of CCSC, and have only heard about missions thru conversations and sermons. This would be my first short term missions trip.

The trip helped form my current perception of missions and the church. I spent more time in the 2 weeks in Cambodia talking and thinking about missions than my entire life previously. The experience shed some light on the challenge of overseas missions that I have never known. Previously, I would say and think that all Christians are missionaries. While I still think this is true, there are challenges I saw that long term overseas missionaries faced that I never realized, with many more challenges that I am sure I am ignorant of. I can see no real motivation for fame, riches, or esteem in an endeavor like this. It was indeed an encouragement to me though, to realize how missionaries around the world pursued those who do not know the Lord, just like Jesus did with me.

This trip to Cambodia was sobering, challenging, and encouraging.

Being in a developing nation was sobering. As I thought about the living conditions, the humidity, the critters, the corruption , the state of healthcare, the nation’s history in relation to the Khmer Rouge – it all weighed heavy on me. As I reviewed my journal thoughts, I remembered writing that I know that theologically, spiritual death is the worst condition to be in, though suffering in this life is not to be diminished either (eg. Job). I was challenged as I thought it was even more painful to be in a place of poverty, and on top of that, to not know Christ. But what about the inverse – to know Christ and still be in a place of poverty. How would this compare to someone living in more comfort, and knowing Christ? I know the ‘right’ answer is that having Christ is all one needs. Yet it was challenging to think that having Christ and comfort was better – as the comfort (which very well may be a blessing from God) can also be a distraction, as the reliance on the Lord may be diminished.

The trip did challenge me to re-arrange my priorities, and I hope these challenges stick with me. One way the trip did this was exposing my warped view of vocation. I noticed in the past how I would be jealous if other engineers received more esteeming projects. This jealousy almost seems trivial now. Unfortunately, I am almost certain that I will continue to foolishly coveting these things. The perspective change that I am seeing, as assisted in my recent reading in ‘Don’t Waste your Life’, is to focus on blessing people thru my vocation. Trust in the Lord’s provision, and aim to be a blessing. I hope I will learn and live this out.

It was incredibly encouraging to hear testimonies of the people being saved, and desiring to share the gospel with their family and friends, despite the relationships that have separated because of them accepting Christ. It floored me to hear how a number of people desired to become missionaries themselves. The redemptive work of the Lord was encouraging as it seemed to be everywhere – in the hospital where Mark works, in the house of Luke and Sokha (their home was literally a light in the village), and in the work of the lives of the students. 

There are two specific stories that I wanted to share to close this blog post:

 “Value of short term missions: story of Acts 26:28”

Before we left, there was a part of me that was doubtful of the value of short term missions. During our missions training, I found myself wondering if we would be more of a burden versus a blessing for the missionaries. A few days into our time in the village, we were having our evening debriefing, and I shared my thoughts on how we are here for such a small period of time, and how we are just seeing a snapshop of years of work done by the missionaries. In response, one of our teammates, Ryan, shared an image of watering seeds (I understood it as blessing others) that was helpful to me. He shared that we do not know who will water the seeds – and while sometimes one may simply be providing a drop of water, the Lord can use even that, and Ryan wanted to be a part of it. Ryan’s resolve was to simply be a blessing in whatever way he can. While this did give me more peace about the value of our time there, the following morning’s reading astounded to me. My reading was in Acts, and it went over the exchange between Paul and King Agrippa.  

Verse 28, 29: And Agrippa said to Paul, “In a short time would you persuade me to be a Christian?” And Paul said, “Whether short or long, I would to God that not only you but also all who hear me this day might become such as I am—except for these chains.”

Reading this was chilling that morning… whether short or long, Paul’s endeavor was that others would be like him. The thoughts in my head right now, are that it is only the Lord who provides the blessing. We ought to aim to be a blessing, but whether it is short or long, brilliant or mundane, it is simply the Lord. I recall Pastor Simon, our team leader, sharing about his time in seminary and that the Lord uses us ‘despite’ who we are, not because of who we are. I am seeing more and more how this is true in my life. As time passed, I saw the Lord working mutual blessings between the missionaries and the team, and I grew in my respect for short term missions.

            “Rejoicing in our salvation” 

Pastor Simon shared a message on Luke 10:20 – where Jesus shared to his followers that they ought not to rejoice in the fact that spirits submitted to them, but that their names are written in heaven. As the days passed, I so wanted Luke and Sokha to witness the blessing of seeing their students and people in their community come to Christ – essentially the fruit of their labor. As I felt the weight of the challenges of their ministry, this desire grew in me. Some time later, I heard Pastor Luke recalling this message. And he shared how his premier joy ought to be that he is saved. 

At this point in my trip, I was growing in my esteem for overseas missionaries. Hearing this really ‘leveled’ the playing field. While that esteem and respect is still there, the exchange reminded me that all who are saved can be joyful in any circumstance. It is not the fruit of our hands that we can be primarily joyful about, nor anything that we can showcase to God that we may be doing for His name’s sake – but our primary joy ought to be in the fruit of Christ’s work in us. 

I am grateful for the privilege to have been part of the team this past summer – words are not enough to describe the experience, nor the blessings I’ve received from the missionaries and believers there. Thank you for taking the time to read thru my thoughts – may the Lord bless you richly, and be glorified in your life.

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